I want to share a story of something that made a big impact on me. Hang with me while I give some background. I’ve worked in the mortgage business for 40 years. My wife worked with me for 20 of those years. She was what I call “backstage”, and I was “onstage”. I was the sales side and she was in charge of the million details of setting up the files for loan processing and underwriting. I had all of the fun and the accolades. One day after 20 years she said she no longer wanted to work in the mortgage industry.
My immediate thought was, well, if it isn’t giving you any more joy, I would like you to stop as well. A lifetime really isn’t very long, and no sense working doing something that doesn’t bring you joy.
Not long after that, she told me she was taking a course at the local community college that night. I asked what was the course, and she said, “it is something like how to travel for low cost or free in retirement.” I smiled and thought that it sounded great. When she came home, I asked how was the course, and she said, “well, it was a little hokey, but there was one thing that was intriguing and I think I want to become a Certified Tour Director.” And she did. And then she created a tour in France. It was a 10 day tour; 3 days in Paris and then 7 days hiking from village to village in Burgundy.
I, of course, joined her on the tour and was a trusty assistant.
But the important part for me was watching her. Her joy of showing her clients Paris, its neighborhoods, the architecture, history, stories, language and culture was immense. She never had that joy in the mortgage industry. I loved watching her in her new craft.
So, when I got home, I pulled out a yellow pad and drew a line down the middle. On one side I wrote Things That Bring Me Joy. And on the right side I wrote Things That Take Away From Joy. With every action I took, I wrote it down on one side or the other. Sometimes it was a task. Sometimes it was a meeting. Sometimes it was a person that I was having some sort of business interaction with. Sometimes it was a type of business, or a situation relating to a loan. Or a type of phone call. You get the idea. I did this for 30 days. Then, I started to redesign my business. How could I be more like my wife Laura when she was giving a tour? How could I have less of the things that took away from joy, and more of the things that brought me joy. It is amazing how much you can move the needle. I started with noticing and naming the types of thing that brought joy and took away from joy. Then I declared an intention to have more joy and less of the takeaways from joy. I was able to increase my moments of joy and days that I declare are meaningful and memorable.
I hope this helps add a possible actionable way to increase QTR. I decided to write and share this, because I shared the QTR paper with a friend and colleague recently. He reported that when he started reading it, it made him sad. He said, “I know I am not in any way making the most of life. I must do better. My routine is not including happy times vs work time.” The saying of getting 1% better each day is reasonable, as long as you have an action you can take.
I invite you to “notice and name” the things that bring you joy, and to do more of them. I just added coconut ice cream to my list of things that bring me joy! Cheers and QTR!
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